Your mouth is God's brothel.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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