LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
