Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
