How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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