HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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