So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My life is pants optional.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
