I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
True strength comes from lack of pants
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
