oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We need to rekindle our bromance
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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