He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
