she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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