at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
