I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
COCAINE IS GR8
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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