pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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