I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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