She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
