i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I want a musical about memes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
