I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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