maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Your dad touched me again.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
