Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
