Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
