Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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