and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
