why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
