I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
