dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
