the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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