It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
