Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
