My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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