I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
