so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
