I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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