Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
