btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
