U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hippo gnu deer
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
