batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Come see our sink grown plant.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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