We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
