Already got asked if we're dating
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
