We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
