Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This is classic penis vs brain.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
