Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
