One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
