I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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