you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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