he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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