I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
