I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
