He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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