Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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