how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
