Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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